Lalita Raman
How are you is a common question that some of us ask of each other, answer to which is many times not listened to or is stated as a matter of fact.
In this day and age where relationship with your mobile may be stronger than the relationships in real life, even the How Are You is rarely being asked?
Do you take your life and those around you for granted ?
My first experience or realization of not to take life for granted happened about 11 years back. A colleague and friend of mine, who was working in our Korea office, whom I had met 2 days back, suddenly passed away. I initially thought this was a cheap joke being played by somebody but unfortunately it was hard-core reality. This guy was in his mid thirty’s and died because of a sudden heart attack. I couldn’t believe this and it took me awhile to come to terms that he was no longer in this world. He was one of our best traders, a friend and a good soul.
Sep 11 was another incident which created a severe jolt in several lives for those who lost their near and dear ones and for many others. Lives were lost in a snap second and from an incident which was beyond their control and with destiny playing its rude game.
These incidents to me are a lesson that there may not be a tomorrow. Let people who matter to you know that you care, you are there for them and appreciate them.
I still remember one of my clients who used to get upset if I asked “How are you doing?” Or “How are things?”. He wanted his daily call from his sales coverage to be to the point with no niceties whatsoever. Being a client, I didn’t want to rock the boat and continued to adhere to his request. However, there were days when I realized that he was not his usual self from his tone, his response and the way he listened. On one of those days, when I called him, I asked him How are things? and he retorted “strange you have stopped asking me how am I doing?”
The point is we all at most times like to be asked, How are we doing? How is life treating us?
Ask these from the heart and not as a chore. And if you are not feeling fine say so, and if you don’t wish to share details with everyone who may have asked you, so be it.
What I can’t understand is why are we forgetting these basic courtesies? Has kindness and basic courtesies gone on a long hiatus in your daily life?
-Each of us have our day-to-day schedules, however, why choose to shy away from humanity?
-Do you feel belittled by asking others how was your day? Or how are you?
-Why have stereotype answers as I’m busy or I’m fine when the reality may be something else. No, I’m not suggesting that you start sharing your day and life with everyone who may ask you this question, but be realistic.
You may be independent and a tough and strong person but even the strongest need a hug, an appreciation a smile and to be asked How Are You Doing? It is okay to share the real you with your friends and people whom you have a rapport with. You never know when a simple question like How Are You Doing ? Or How is Life With You, may reveal the challenges others are facing. You may be able to help in such situations.
We are born into the same Earth and nature or death makes no discrimination.
Choose to fill your day with kindness and gratitude.
Choose to be known as someone who leads with their heart.
Choose to care about little things because they matter.
Choose to touch people’s lives with the gift of your time and attention.
Time will keep moving forward but are you taking the moments as given?
Ask of yourself How Are You Doing ? Take time to reflect and go on the journey within.
